I’ve lost ‘it’

My passion for teaching has sizzled out. It was a good run, though. It all started, officially, after graduating from college in 2012. I had so much drive and zero reasons to stay in my home state. So, I went to teach in The Republic of Georgia. Though I wasn’t there for more than a month, it was enough to teach me that this isn’t what I wanted with my life and thank god I’ve fallen ill so that I don’t have to complete ‘this’. I soon changed my tune when it hit me that I wasn’t quite there long enough to gain a full spectrum of what it means to teach ESOL to someone; so, I enrolled in S.I.Ts TESOL Certificate course in New Mexico (which I highly recommend). This was the best teaching experience that I’ve had thus far, and that’s pitiful. What happened to a young teacher with so much pizzaz and drive? What happens to many of the young ambitious teachers, they get burnt out. To be more specific, I had some severe degenerates over me that sucked ALL of the enthusiasm from my poor, youthful spirit- and left me with just this awkward, grim, cynical, sardonic of a creature sitting before this computer. It’s tragic really. But…eh, what can one do.

That’s a fine question to pose, actually, and I believe I have just the answer to it: move around. Go away, you burnt-out teacher, and do something else for awhile. You’ve been going in overdrive with this teaching thing and it’s finally taken its toll on you. Do not by any means accept another teaching job; do not go abroad to teach; do not complete this M. Ed in Bilingual/TESL studies (well there are other reasons this won’t be getting completed, but I digress). It’s true that money is what you’re in need of at the moment, but mental health is also important and taking a job at that pizza place ’round the corner might do more for you then taking an $18.50 an hour teaching gig at a large state school. It doesn’t mean that you won’t be teaching every again, quite the opposite, we’re all teachers in our own ways, but you don’t need to kill yourself just for this idea of what your twenty-two year old self believed she wanted. Furthermore, just because you are good at something doesn’t mean that you should do it for the rest of your life; there are other means in which you can satisfy your zest for teaching.

So, to those of you out there feeling like me, I encourage you to seek other means of employment, if not just for the sake of your sanity (because we certainly don’t need anymore crazies runnin’ ’round), for the sake of your soul. I interviewed with a large state university just yesterday and was lamenting accepting the interview, but it turned out to be really good decision. Now, if I get an acceptance call back I hope I’ll have the strength to say no to them and move on to a new career. I don’t want to be that gal that resigns from a teaching post (or any job for that matter) after just 3 months of teaching. I’m ready for a career and a stable one at that. ESL teaching in the states, sans the acceptation of K-12, is a luck of the draw it feels like and I’m no longer into that. Farewell my teaching career, and hello to this unknown career. Let’s hope it’s for the better.

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