Reflections

Since it’s Christmas Day and we’re all doing this end of the reflection business, I’ve been thinking about this wicked year I’ve had and I’ve nuzzled the idea that perhaps I’ve been harboring some bitterness about my time in Turklandia. Well, I don’t think it’s bitterness, per se, but more so disappointment and the whole lot of misfortunes I experienced their. Not so much for me even, but that I had such bad luck that I met some of the weirdest people in the country. That’s not to say that the whole lot of ’em are backwards, I don’t think it’s right to say that as it’s a cultural thing I disliked the most. I do, however, feel that that isn’t a place for black (dark) skinned people. It’s not so much a racism thing in the formal sense that we think of here in the US. In fact, it’s kind of hard to put my finger down on because it is both not the same and exactly the same. Hmm..conundrum. I feel that it is a strict devaluation of blacks based on what they’ve seen on t.v. (because we all know Turks love them some television) and the internet and they just simply buy into it all. I encounter this problem so often when I go abroad actually and it’s sadly not just me that has had this issue. In fact, I was speaking with my old roomie from T’bilisi (a black woman from Queens) and she’s been living in China for the past 2 years and up until now has enjoyed it. However…something has changed since then and she told me that she’ll never return to this country after her contract is up. What changed her mind so suddenly? This same view about blacks that I’d encountered in Turkey. Let me explain further. In many countries blacks (Africans in fact because African-Americans and Africans are not the same thing nor share the same background) usually held lower status jobs like cleaners or hookers; so because of this, I think, the blacks have evolved and moved up, albeit a little, to a higher status but the minds and thinking of the peoples outside of black communities haven’t. But there is another problem, other native speakers. You see, people from the U.K. or Canada, Australia, etc play a part in this too in that they perpetuate these ideals and spread them even further. *Disclaimer-not all do this, but there are many abroad who do** Now I want to be clear in that I’m not saying these people are white, no, there are asians, latinos, etc abroad that continue this devaluation as well. So, back to the example of my roommate in China, her boss keeps telling people that she’s from Africa, when she’s not…nor has she ever been, and this employer knows it. She’s from the U.K. and I can’t for the life of my comprehend why she’s making generalizations about the peoples of a country she’s not from…hmm. You see, because of this, I chose not to go to Spain. I didn’t have any troubles in France or Italy, but Germany, Turkey, Georgia…Yes. So my advice for all you readers out there is to take this “reflection” time and look within yourself at the negative ideas that you may still be harboring about other cultures, peoples, languages, or perhaps that pop star that you don’t even know. I implore you to look within yourself and evaluate the roots of these ideals and work towards squashing them in the final weeks of this year and for the rest of your life. You may think that sharing it amongst your friends is nothing because they won’t pass judgement on you or they share your ideals about the given subject matter…don’t. Just don’t do it. Ask yourself who you really are when we strip this away from you, what part of you is still standing?

Well, it’s finally Christmas and I’m happy to be home for this holiday, but I’m also glad to be taking down this X-mas tree. Putting it up didn’t bring me as much satisfaction as I had thought that it would. I just enjoyed the quality family time with Momma and Monkey. Monkey moved to Virginia on the 13th though. 😦 I miss my Monkey. It hurts me because I don’t think he’ll come back and if he does, when will that be?! I’ll admit I’ve been abroad loads of times but I must say that I always come back home. Always. And I just don’t think that he will and that hurts me most. Bastard. He didn’t even bother to met up with me before he left.. Although he did move a tv, sofa table, and sofa over for me…but I’m not an ungrateful spoiled sister or anything. :p No, I just wanted to wish him happy travels is all…and give him the best sad face in the entirety of sad face giving history so he wouldn’t go and he’d feel bad. But that would have been selfish of me (but I gives no fucks) and it would have sadly worked I think…which is most likely the precise reason he didn’t update me on his departure time. I’ll fuck his life later for that though. Oh you best believe that one, funny! 😉

Merry commercialized day!

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