Monday & Tuesday

Nothing new has really happened here. I still don’t have my contract, pay advance, residency permit, and my phone will be shut off come Friday because the school I work for are all a bunch of people who are disorganized, haven’t a clue, and slow.

Most people have their schedules before they show up at work on the first day of school, right? Not at CBU! We were told Friday by Nihat, a secretary (?), that we would receive them Monday and that we wont actually have classes until Thursday. Well, that was a complete lie. WE show up at 8:30am Monday and are given the jankiest schedule I’ve ever seen before and it’s not explained to us by any admin..so that leaves the other teachers to describe it to us! NO! You know me. I was livid. I hadn’t prepared any lessons for three hour block of classes I was supposed to be teaching in 12 minutes! Nor one for the two hour block later that afternoon. They said that we weren’t allowed to let our students go! Thanks Nihat! Fucking tool. So I just went in ten minutes late and told them about myself, had them tell me about them, and then it was a disaster after that. I tried to do some things from the book. It moderately worked. I have a few students that are already friends and talkative and I’m not the one. We’ll see how it goes… My last class are basically advanced even though they’re classified as intermediate like my morning class. They’re good. They’re really, really good. I’m excited about them. It’s a smaller class too. My problem is that they show up on prepared for my class, and I’m not the one. The first day I let it slide. The second day and you have no pencil, paper, or your books, nope; get out of my class. I kicked three students out because they didn’t even have a pen or paper. I don’t understand. Next time he won’t do that I hope. I can’t do anything with him and he makes my class take longer..nope. Shut it down. I was so pissed Monday. I had a mini breakdown in fact. I was so confused and depressed and felt alone. Sigh. The school has done nothing but stress me out and in fact, that’s all I’ve done since I heard about Turkey. Enes is here for me thank god, but I feel like I have nobody else. Like nothing is under my control. It’s frustrating and maddening. Enes said that he would love for me to come there to ANkara and I really want to just so I can be closer to him, but he also said that he thinks I should take the money from the school and stay here. I don’t want to be a burden on him anymore than I already have. I also don’t know what would happen if I lived there. I had some troubles here in Manisa living with a couple..and I don’t want him to have any troubles. Though he doesn’t care. I also would have better chances in Istanbul but I don’t know if I’d really want to live there. Where would I live? Caitlin had just gotten here just a week ago and also has no place to live so she’s with Esad, her man, and they’re the only people I really know in Istanbul. See my predicament? I have no place to go. So I stayed at this horrible school. 

Speaking about the school, I got 500TL from them…FINALLY! I shouldn’t have had to wait so god-damned long, but I did. Also, we found out that their testing isn’t really to test them because they just group them by their majors. Stupid. They also just put random people into classes that they shouldn’t be in. I think they never even took the tests, for whatever reason. Loni has a student that asked her how to spell leukemia…LEUKEMIA! WHat?! She’s supposed to be in be high beginner…no way. Svetlana has a student in her A-level class that apparently is a translator for a museum…a Turko-English one. I. Can’t. Even. 

Did I mention I was finally advanced some money yesterday!? It’s well over due. So, back to my schedule. We were told if we have morning classes than we wont have evening ones…well again, that didn’t happen. We’re required to sit at school from 8:45-5:00. Not going down; especially since I have Wednesday’s off. I’ll quit if it’s a thing. 
Also, the students don’t have books, schedules, and some not even pencil/paper. What is wrong with this school!? A bunch of degenerates as Steven would say. I can’t explain to you how high my stress level is at this point. On top of that, our electricity/water went out because öner didn’t pay some bill from August! I can’t handle that coupled with the fact that we have no syllabi and this co teaching thing we do is stupid. “hey where did you stop today?” Like, wtf is that!? No, I can’t. How do you plan for that?! I have lessons 9-12, 3-7:35 on Friday!!! I’m depressed, stressed, and overwhelmed. All I wanted to do was teach and I can’t even do that because of this lot of degenerates here. 

The Students

I like my students. I really do. Some are so eager and I just love them. They’re just too cute. You should have seen their faces when I told them I’m American. They nearly burst with excitement. Those little moments are why I love what I do. 🙂 I’m worried about a few of them though. We’ll see how it goes. However, it doesn’t matter to most of them I think. Several have failed the program a few times and I can see why now. Turkey prepares students for tests, nothing more. We prepare them for life and future successes. It chafes at them I think. But either way, at the end of the year, they have just to pass some stupid exam to get into their respective departments were the Turkish teachers will just talk to them in Turkish. I’m over this place. I’m tired of struggling and stressing.

I will start looking for another job. I’m over this. I’m already not looking forward to work. It hasn’t even been a week. I keep hearing “this is the way it works in Turkey.” I don’t think that’s true though. I mean, it certainly is to an extent, but I feel like most other places try to make their teachers happier so that they’re not stressing and playing favoritism (because a  few teachers don’t have crap schedules) so that they can indeed do what they love to do. 

On a lighter note, there is a cute guy I work with that meets most of my requirements! haha. Even his hands are a decent size. (*Loni and I have noticed that Turkish men have smallish hands for their body*) He’s pretty tall; maybe 6’3 or 6’4. He has brown straightish hair that is medium length; almost down to his shoulders and he has a wicked sense of humor. I’m not sure why he seemed to have latched on to me. Maybe because he is also new here and doesn’t know many people; or perhaps it’s because we’re similar in age. He’s just two years older than me. I don’t get the vibe that he’s physically attracted to me; I think it’s more that we’re two of the three who aren’t married/engaged, so it’s not weird for us to hang out. Either way, he’s easy on the eyes, does it for me, and will be gazing at him this entire year. 😉

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