Today

Today, I’m just unhappy. No. In fact, I’m every emotion you could possibly think of all wrapped up in one body sitting here on my bed. My funds are running out. I still don’t have my contract. I still don’t speak Turkish. The Turks don’t speak any other languages. I can’t read the menu. I can’t order from a menu. I have just a few lira on me and the banks are closed today anyways since it’s Sunday so no delivery for me. I feel sort of lonely. The other Americans are here, but they’re in a relationship, slightly older than me, and at least they have each other for companionship. I haven’t a soul here. I keep asking myself, why the fuck did you come here!? I can’t get a phone/apt/bank account or anything else it seems because i don’t have/have applied for my damn residents permit because the school hasn’t received confirmation that my application will be accepted. Why was I required to be here so early then?? We’re not doing a thing at work, why am I here. I’m struggling to find somewhere to eat or things to eat. I’ve been at the schools guesthouse now for over a week and my bill has to be nearly 100 lira. I’m unsure if there are pots/pans for me to prepare some food, but where would I store it or the ingredients? I’m dying and I’m unhappy. 

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